If there is anything that can go wrong, it usually will. Life is guaranteed to have difficulties, challenges and setbacks. Sometimes you feel that the ground just caved in under your legs. And when you think that there cannot be anything else that will go wrong – something does.
Even if you consider yourself to be a strong character, sometimes, some days, so much goes wrong, that you feel that you are never going to be able to cope again.
We all have setbacks and life happens but more often than not it is our perception of an incidence that really influences our reaction rather than the incidence itself. Let’s face it when one thing goes wrong, you breathe and cope. But when the second and the third go wrong, you start to panic. The truth is that the second or the third problem, if isolated, could be easily dealt with. However, when you compound problems you feel overwhelm and you start questioning yourself “how am I going to overcome all these challenges?”
Whether we are facing a career-related setback or even a life setback our first reaction is kneejerk. We usually respond with anger, defeat, sadness or even panic. If we are in a position to do so, we also shift the blame to someone else, because it is easier to cope.
These reactions are quite “normal”and it is our defense mechanism that kicks-in fast to help us deal with roadblock or challenges. But none of them really help us to overcome challenges.
We are all under the same sun and setbacks happen to everyone, even to the most successful and steel nerved people. This is so true, that in fact, we tend to find inspiration from successful people who have overcome more than fair share of setbacks.
We look up to Oprah Winfrey – whose life of constant battles with her ethnicity, her upbringing, and her struggles to make it as world’s best talk show host make her the Queen of challenges.
We draw inspiration from Steve Jobs the business magnate who co-founded Apple only to be ditched by his own board and later called back to save the brand.
And how about Mark Cuban? At 22, Mark worked at a bank and contributed to the CEO by sending him notes on how to save the bank some money. The CEO did not appreciate and let Mark know in no uncertain words. Mark left the bank and slept at friends’ houses for months. Later got a job with a PC software company but got fired again. Today he is a magnate worth more than $4.3 billion.
The list can go on and there is certainly no shortage of people who not only overcome challenges but become success stories. But we need to keep things into perspective and although it is not likely than many of us are lined up to become the net Oprah, Jobs or Cuban, we certainly could do with a bit of help with facing setbacks.
For this reason, I have prepared five magic mantras from people who have influenced my journey in becoming an entrepreneur and business coach and that have helped me tremendously to overcome challenges:
Facing Setbacks? 5 Magic Mantras to Overcome Challenges
1. “Life Happens For You and Not To You” – Tony Robbins
Tony Robbins is famous for his “Date with Destiny” amongst other massive coaching and trainings that impact thousands of lives. Love him or hate him, this giant knows how to articulate his magic with powerful words and I would like to choose one of his more famous quotes as my first mantra.
“Life doesn’t happen to you, it happens for you”
The idea has so much power and can be relevant to both our professional as well as our personal lives.
“Some people believe that life is happening to them, and because of this, they get weighed down when something bad happens – but other people believe that life is happening for them, and that each incident – good or bad – is shaping them into the person that they are meant to become” – Tony Robbins
The power of these words cannot be denied, and they can be a great mantra when we are facing setbacks. We do not need to wait around for something to happen to us. We also need to stop worrying about competition. We certainly must stop worrying about the economy (especially if you are living during Covid times). Because we all have the power to take control of our lives and make choices.
2. “Everything is Figureoutable” – Marie Forleo
Marie Forleo could be my best friend – except that she doesn’t know that I exist. She could be the girl next door to anyone with her simple, direct and unbelievable honest approach to life and business. By her own admission – this phrase was passed on to her by her own mother as a fun phrase to mean that she could figure everything out eventually.
Marie Forleo has built her own Award Winning TV Show Marie TV and has grown her business to rival that of Oprah Winfrey only by being on YouTube!
What “everything is figureoutable” (and it is certainly not correct English) really means is that in the end there will be a solution to everything.
I personally prefer to look at this mantra to overcome challenges in a rather different way. Life has taught me that whenever I look at set-backs from the rear mirror so to speak they simply fall into the right perspective.
How many times has something happened to us, and we panic and rave and rant. But a week, a month, or a year later we will hardly remember the incident. And if we remember because it would have been significant, it certainly grows smaller in intensity and perspective.
I have always found that keeping everything in perspective, has helped me with a lot of things that would have been impossible to deal with otherwise – a great coping mechanism. So next time you have no immediate answers remember that “everything is figureoutable”.
3. The Comeback is Always Stronger than the Setback” – Author Unknown
Another version of this which is harder and stronger and probably available in variations in every language is “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”. But I certainly prefer “the comeback is always stronger than the setback” as a mantra to overcome challenges. It has a great way to project forward and into a positive future – rather than grind through the ashes and rise like a phoenix.
Sometimes, we feel totally paralyzed by an unexpected set-back and find it hard to clear away the fog and see light again. We also get lost and feel paralysis by analysis. Many time we are even afraid to move and make a decision – simply because we are afraid of making the wrong decisions.
This is where a mantra “The Comeback is Always Stronger than the Setback” will empower us to make the decision. And from my experience – a bad decision is better than no decision. A bad decision can be corrected. You may need to catapult from low to high but you are taking action. No decision leaves you feeling like you are in a status quo and you will certainly stunt your growth.
We cannot stop. We have to keep on moving. There is no such thing as perfection and sometimes decisions have to be made. Remember this analogy when you are not sure about making a decision
“When is the best time to plant your tree?” It was 5 years ago
“When is the next best time to plant your tree?” Today
Procrastination and paralysis are nothing but the perfect excuse to lodge you in quicksand.
4. “I Believe I can so I will” – Author Unknown
In the face of adversity can we really forge forward? Can I really do absolutely anything if I believe I can? The answer is a most definite yes. Reality is only in our head. We see life with the filters or lenses that we prefer to put on.
I mean look at Religions and Politics. Evaluate sentiments of football fans. Who is right? Who is wrong? Everyone sees his own perception of right or wrong. There is no perfect black or white but there is only a myriad of greys.
Our brains are totally receptive of that what we believe to be true and therefore “I believe I can so I will” is possibly one of the best mantras we can tell ourselves when we are facing roadblocks. It empowers us from playing small to playing full out.
In truth, such mantras are used in wars, before important games and before facing discerning audiences. Every circumstance demands that we build our mental strength and awareness to grow into our full potential.
Setbacks damage our potential. Being able to nurture your mind (mind over matter) in such a way that you give yourself internal strength is essential. If you can learn to face adversity you will have gained yourself an asset that you should never underestimate.
5. Dwell only on Problems You Can Fix – by My Father
My father may have been poor of means, but his wisdom was the richest gift that he ever gave me. Whenever, he saw me stressed about problems or facing huge difficulties, especially when I started my business, he would always chime in the same mantra
“Dwell only on problems you can fix” and don’t burn your energy and emotions over things that you have no control over. This is honestly one of my favorites even if it is the hardest to implement.
So many times, we really need to stop and ask ourselves. Do I have control to fix this problem? Irrespective of whether you or someone else has created the hurdle, the problem or the setback. This is a real challenge. But asking ourselves, whether we have the ability to fix a problem is very crucial to determine how much we should be stressed or troubled about it.
Dean Graziosi another of my mentors and coaches amplifies on this and says:
Unfortunately, this is a brutal truth in life. There are some things that we have control over – but circumstances happen, and we have absolutely zero control over them.
We cannot prevent bad things from happening. Fretting about them will only increase our tension and stress and bring along premature diseases if not disasters.
In order to help yourself reducing stress from over worrying or fretting ask yourself a few simple questions:
- Do I have control over the situation?
- Can I influence a different decision of this circumstance?
- Why am I so afraid of this outcome? How is it going to impact me?
- Am I ruminating or am I thinking constructively to solve a problem?
- Go back to the start and start chanting the mantras.
What is the Bottom Line? What Does it Take to Overcome Setbacks?
When the going gets tough, and life shows us its rough side it can really be hard. But guess what, we are wired with resilience. Nothing is really beyond our reach and when we succeed it does not happen by luck or coincidence, it happens because we made the choice to face our challenges.
Sometimes, it takes talking to someone with more experience or empathy, who will give us clarity. On other occasions, we may need to acquire new skills in order to move on in our journey. You can take one thing for granted. Life is never going to be easy or is going to get easier. It is only going to get tougher. But the good news is that if you decide to focus and find the right help, you too will become tougher and stronger.
I hope that these five mantras will help ease the pain sometimes, but also give the strength to stay on track, determined and focused. This is how you will ultimately overcome the most difficult challenges.
Has one particular mantra resonated well with you today? If yes, drop and comment and let us know why you liked it or whether you have used it in your past.
And as a key take away from this always remember:
“On the Other Side of Your Greatest Fears Lives Your Greatest Life”
Facebook Youtube Instagram Hello, this is Mariella from E-Cono-Me and in this workshop I will be sharing with you some golden nuggets that I have
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